MY SECRET IDENTITY (Jovial Bob Stine) - May 31/13

This adaptation of the pilot script for My Secret Identity is cute enough and actually does contain elements I still remember from the show (Andrew's wall of comics), but yeah, it's for kids. ** out of ****

INFERNO (Dan Brown) - May 30/13

The first half of this is almost oppressively similar to all of Brown's other Robert Langdon books, as the author bogs the narrative down with interminably descriptive passages and a structure that feels as though it came from a template. But there reaches a point at which the twists come fast and furious and it's subsequently very difficult to resist the draw of the lightning-fast pace. *** out of ****

FIVE ON A TREASURE ISLAND (Enid Blyton) - May 22/13

This incredibly innocuous children's book is basically readable, though the storyline is awfully thin. I kind of enjoyed just how hoary the narrative becomes - the kids must outwit nefarious thieves bent on stealing their rightful property (gold) - and some of the action-oriented stuff was pretty good. But yeah, it's pretty thin stuff. **1/2 out of ****

ONE DOOR AWAY FROM HEAVEN (Dean Koontz) - May 18/13

Damn, what a crazy ordeal this was. I have officially had it with Dean Koontz. (Well, I still own two books, but once I read those, me and him are done professionally.) This incredibly, insanely interminable book takes a story that could've MAYBE filled 50 pages and trudges along for an almost insane 681 pages! (With small print, no less!) I can't believe how much time Koontz wastes on stuff the reader couldn't POSSIBLY care less about, and it's worth noting that even with this extreme length, ALL of the characters remain underdeveloped and underwhelming. I just didn't care about any of these people. (They're just so QUIRKY. There's not an authentic figure in the bunch.) Jesus, what a terrible, terrible book. Koontz, you suck. * out of ****

BE MORE CHILL (Ned Vizzini) - May 11/13

This passable YA novel contains many, many familiar elements - it's a typical high-school story with few deviations from the formula - but the book benefits from its sci-fi twist in the form of a squip. It's readable enough, but I was never enthralled. The final twist is pretty good, though (the entire book is part of the data dump designed to win back Christine; we frustratingly don't find out of it worked, however). **1/2 out of ****