Y THE LAST MAN: ONE SMALL STEP (Brian K. Vaughan, Pia Guerra, Jose Marzan Jr, Paul Chadwick) - March 15/12

The saga continues with this uneven installment, which feels somewhat padded out to a degree, as Vaughan and company don't really take the story anywhere terribly new or interesting and even offer up a palpably pointless stretch involving an all-female (obviously) troupe of actresses that encounter Ampersand. It's not terrible, I guess, but what's the point? *** out of ****

THE LUCKY ONE (Nicholas Sparks) - March 15/12

This fairly typical Sparks novel - it occasionally feels like it's come from a template - is certainly quite entertaining from start to finish, as the author does a nice job of establishing the various characters (especially Logan and his dog Zeus). Not much more to say; it held my interest and I enjoyed reading it. *** out of ****

OFFSPRING (Jack Ketchum) - March 11/12

This expectedly fast-paced sequel to Off Season certainly has possesses a number of expectedly engrossing interludes, but the book kind of fizzles out a little towards the end. My ongoing difficulties in separating Amy and Claire didn't help, and the overly descriptive passages simply lost some of their impact as a result. Still, it's a good, brutal book and I look forward to reading the final (?) installment soon. *** out of ****

A PRINCESS OF MARS (Edgar Rice Burroughs) - March 8/12

This surprisingly interminable book was kind of readable in the beginning, with the outlandish premise employed to relatively decent effect by Burroughs. But the author's insanely antiquated writing style inevitably alienated me, as it became more and more difficult to care about the central character's fish-out-of-water exploits. (It doesn't help that much of the book consists of long, descriptive paragraphs, which, by the end, I was pretty much completely glazing over.) The many, many action sequences are, as such, completely uninvolving and uninteresting, although I did admittedly like the climactic battle and John Carter's final discovery that he's been sent back home. The cliffhanger ending is nevertheless not going to encourage me to read any more of the books in this series. * out of ****

THE TWITS (Roald Dahl) - March 5/12

This slight and silly book is entertaining enough, but it's clearly meant to be read by small children. There's nothing wrong with it, really, but as an adult it's difficult for me to say whether it's good or not. It's breezy, I guess, so there's that. **1/2 out of ****

THE ODDS (Stewart O'Nan) - March 5/12

This typically uneven book by O'Nan certainly has a number of engrossing stretches and it's hard to recall a story featuring two equally memorable characters, but the novel is often bogged down in descriptions and flowery passages that feel kind of meaningless. And while the final few pages are admittedly quite exciting, the anticlimactic resolution feels a little disappointing and vague (ie they're staying together because they won? What about all their problems and the impending divorce?) It would've been nice if O'Nan had fleshed out some of the smaller details, but still, it's a quick, truthful read. (And surprisingly depressing in stretches, too.) *** out of ****

Y THE LAST MAN: CYCLES (Brian K. Vaughan, Pia Guerra, Jose Marzan Jr) - March 1/12

The saga continues with this engrossing, fast-paced installment. I'm still not completely sold on the entire concept of the Amazons, but that's a minor complaint for what is otherwise a tremendously involving and entertaining series. (Loved the cliffhanger with the guys in space, too.) ***1/2 out of ****

BOSSYPANTS (Tina Fey) - March 1/12

This entertaining but overlong autobiography/self-help book is admittedly quite entertaining in stretches, mostly when Fey talks about her showbiz exploits, but the author spends way too much time on her dull childhood and upbringing. It doesn't help, either, that Fey devotes whole chapters to her opinions on various topics, with her opinions on such fluffy things as magazine shoots and her kid's fingernails included, seemingly, solely to pad out the book's length. Fey is a good writer (albeit not terribly funny), but this just feels like a needless vanity project. **1/2 out of ****

THE BLACK STALLION (Walter Farley) - February 28/12

This unabashedly old-fashioned story generally held my interest, although there were a few lulls here and there. The episodic narrative works well and there's no denying that the buildup to the big race (and the race itself, of course) is quite exciting. It's a good but not great book. Seems like the movie might be better... **1/2 out of ****

FALSE IMPRESSION (Jeffrey Archer) - February 25/12

This typically verbose thriller from Archer is certainly quite the page turner, despite a few lulls in the narrative and a plot that occasionally seems a little too thin to support such a long book. But Archer includes a number of exciting passages, including a too-soon 9/11 sequence and an impressively tense stretch involving a character following another character following another character. (The latter almost felt like a De Palma-esque interlude.) *** out of ****

Y THE LAST MAN: UNMANNED (Brian K. Vaughan, Pia Guerra, Jose Marzan Jr) - February 20/12

The first few pages kind of had me saying "hmm, I'm not sure about this" but once all the men died, I was hooked. From there, Y the Last Man is a fast-paced and thoroughly entertaining comic that suffers from very few missteps. (I'm not sure about the whole Amazons thing, but I'm willing to give the writers the benefit of the doubt.) A good start to a promising series. ***1/2 out of ****

THE MINUS MAN (Lew McCreary) - February 20/12

This pretentious, sporadically interminable book does contain a few admittedly tense moments - eg Vann swaps out a food-court patron's Pepsi for his poison, Vann assumes he's poisoned someone but it turns out she didn't drink, etc - but is ultimately felled by McCreary's hopelessly ponderous writing style. The inclusion of flashbacks upon flashbacks doesn't help, and it's impossible not to wonder just what McCreary was hoping to do here. He's a good writer but sheesh, the dude needs to learn how to write for other people (ie it's just maddeningly over-written). ** out of ****

THE FUTURE OF US (Jay Asher & Carolyn Mackler) - February 15/12

This incredibly entertaining and breezy book takes an inherently engrossing premise and generally exploits it to tremendously readable effect. The novel may occasionally be a little too YA-like for its own good, but I really came to like and relate to both Emma and Josh and their ongoing shenanigans. A fun, easygoing read. ***1/2 out of ****

THE BURNING MAN (Phillip Margolin) - February 13/12

This surprisingly entertaining legal thriller isn't exactly super well written, but it moves fast and contains a genuinely interesting case at its core. The main character does possess a few one-dimensional traits, but Margolin otherwise does a nice job of handling the supporting characters. (It's worth noting that the guy I was sure would be the killer wasn't, though he was just as sleazy as I assumed.) I'll definitely be checking out more of Margolin's work in the future. *** out of ****

THE PASSION (Jeanette Winterson) - February 10/12

This interesting yet pretentious novel details the off-kilter exploits of two Napoleon-era characters, and there's little doubt that some of this stuff is admittedly pretty interesting. But Winterson clearly loves the sound of her own voice and there are subsequently plenty of poetic passages that were, for me, somewhat meaningless. It's a brisk read, though, and I did enjoy certain sections quite a bit, so I'm glad I read it. **1/2 out of ****

BRIGHTON ROCK (Graham Greene) - February 6/12

This incredibly disappointing and downright boring novel contains an admittedly interesting story, but Greene bogs it down time and time again with overly descriptive passages and an emphasis on subplots and subcharacters that couldn't possibly be less interesting. I found myself glazing over whole paragraphs and it was just a real struggle getting through the last 100 pages. It doesn't help, either, that the protagonist is a fairly underdeveloped and reprehensible figure. I'm not writing Greene off yet, but yeah, this was shockingly bad. * out of ****

A COLD MIND (David L. Lindsey) - January 28/12

This frustratingly, unreasonably overlong book is certainly well written and quite captivating in spots, as Lindsey effectively establishes a story revolving around a killer of prostitutes (he kills his victims with rabies!) and the grizzled detective attempting to track him down. But Lindsey bogs the narrative down in mind-numbing details that quickly grow oppressive. The author spends a ridiculous amount of time describing the minute routine of the investigation, and the book often feels like a procedural in the most cold, clinical sense of the word. (Did we really need pages devoted to the killer's scientific method of extracting rabies from the head of a dead dog?) *1/2 out of ****

LIESL & PO (Lauren Oliver) - January 23/12

I don't really have much to say about this one. It's fine for what it is, but I feel like I'm about 25 years too old for this sort of thing. Oliver is certainly a good writer, though, and I did come to like the protagonists. It got a little too descriptive towards the end, what with all the magic and other side stuff, but all in all, it's an entertaining (if somewhat overlong) read. Oh, and the drawings are nice, too. **1/2 out of ****

A SEMESTER IN THE LIFE OF A GARBAGE BAG (Gordon Korman) - January 16/12

Gordon Korman strikes again with this absolutely insipid book revolving around a smartalecky teen's efforts at winning a trip to Greece. Korman has suffused the novel with hopelessly quirky characters and an emphasis on dull plot twists, including an ongoing subplot about the school's faulty power supply. Who cares?? It's relatively well written, but gosh, I was just bored from start to finish. *1/2 out of ****

HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS (J.K. Rowling) - January 12/12

The Harry Potter series improves immeasurably with this installment, as Rowling has all but dropped the overly kid-oriented atmosphere and embraced the serialized nature of the story. As such, the book doesn't feel quite as episodic as the first one, and there are a number of unexpectedly exciting passages (eg Harry and Ron are saved from enormous spiders by a sentient car). The inclusion of several nifty twists - Riddle is Voldemort! - ultimately elevates the whole thing, and I have to believe that the series is just going to get better and better. ***1/2 out of ****

RABBIT, RUN (John Updike) - January 4/12

Wow, what an ordeal. This absolutely interminable book, which I started months ago, details a few months in the life of Rabbit, as he leaves his pregnant wife and takes up with a floozy. It's a fine idea for a premise but Updike's almost astonishing incompetence ensures that there's hardly a page here that isn't completely overwritten and incoherent. Updike's stream-of-consciousness style is nothing short of infuriating, and it's ultimately impossible not to wonder what his fans like about his prose. Rabbit, Run is truly one of the worst books I've ever read. no stars out of ****

THE AMAZING ADVENTURES OF KAVALIER & CLAY (Michael Chabon) - January 1/12

Man oh man. This unreasonably overlong and overwritten novel has a few admittedly decent stretches, but for the most part, Chabon bogs it down in frustratingly descriptive flashbacks and the like. The decent middle gives way to an absolutely interminable final 40%, with the stuff involving Joe's exploits during the war especially dull and pointless. I honestly don't understand the praise for this book. It's got strong characters and a few good twists, but it just goes on and on and on. It's like, we get it, Chabon; you're a good writer! Now how about entertaining us instead of yourself? When they refer to self-indulgent works as masturbation they could use this as a dictionary definition. *1/2 out of ****

MICRO (Michael Crichton and Richard Preston) - December 16/11

This occasionally clunky yet entertaining book certainly contains all the touchstones of classic Crichton, as the storyline deftly blends science with hair-raising action. In that regard, Micro certainly succeeds - as the book contains several engrossing action sequences, including an encounter with an angry wasp and a number of genuinely surprising character deaths (including one person I assumed was the central protagonist!) It's not the best thing Crichton's ever done, but given the circumstances, Micro is probably better than one could've reasonably expected. *** out of ****

DAMNED (Chuck Palahniuk) - December 5/11

Okay, that's it. I think I'm finally done with Chuck Palahniuk. This boring, utterly unreadable novel is packed with descriptive passages that are almost uniformly meaningless, and I found myself quickly scanning paragraphs just because they were so torturous. There is absolutely no narrative momentum in this thunderously dull book, as Chuck spends far too much time dwelling on things of a gross and "shocking" nature. What the hell is the point of all this? What a colossal waste of time. * out of ****

11/22/63 (Stephen King) - November 27/11

This massive book is as uneven as one has come to expect from Stephen King, but on the whole, it's certainly one of the novelist's better efforts as of late. This is despite a midsection that admittedly did infuriate me at one point, as Uncle Stevie spent pages and pages on the minutia of Lee Harvey Oswald's day-to-day exploits. But the book also contains an unexpectedly engrossing love story, the resolution of which actually left me in tears as the book drew to a close. Oh, and the frenetic lead-up to Kennedy's assassination is some of the most exciting writing I've read in ages. ***1/2 out of ****

HARRY POTTER AND THE PHILOSOPHER'S STONE (J.K. Rowling) - November 20/11

I have to admit that I was a little disappointed by this after all the hype around this series. It's perfectly fine - it's well written and the characters are interesting - but the book's episodic narrative ensures that it's rarely engrossing. Worse than that, it feels as though it's been written almost exclusively for kids. (Harry lived in a cupboard, for crying out loud!) I've read that the series gets better as it goes along, so I won't give up on it just yet, but yeah, I was expecting more. **1/2 out of ****

THE BEST OF ME (Nicholas Sparks) - November 15/11

I'm not sure, but this just might be the most entertaining book from Sparks. It certainly features all of the expected touchstones and does move at a deliberate pace in its early stages. But I enjoyed the rekindled romance between Dawson and Amanda, and I really liked the way Sparks kept cutting to different, seemingly pointless subplots. And though the conclusion becomes more and more obvious, the book does transform into a surprisingly compelling page-turner in its final 100 pages. *** out of ****

WHEN THE WIND BLOWS (James Patterson) - November 10/11

This fairly typical thriller from James Patterson is entertaining enough, but it's hard to deny that the book often feels a lot longer than necessary. As a result, there aren't really any stretches here that are as exciting as Patterson has probably intended, although the characters are all pretty well defined and portrayed. It's just completely average from start to finish. **1/2 out of ****

DRAMA: AN ACTOR'S EDUCATION (John Lithgow) - November 3/11

I'm a little conflicted about this one. On the one hand, Drama has been written in this irresistibly conversational style that makes the reader feel as though they're listening to stories directly from Lithgow. On the other hand, the author spends a lot - a lot - of time dwelling on the various theatrical productions he's been involved in over the years. Some of it's interesting, sure, but there's just too much to sustain the interest of everyday readers (theater freaks will go nuts for the various anecdotes, undoubtedly). I only wish Lithgow had included more stuff on his cinematic career, in the vein of the juicy tale of his time on the DePalma flick Obsession. It's also weird that he devoted a whole chapter to his sleazeball antics during the '70s, as he cheated on his wife a number of times - most notably with Liv Ullman. Still, it's a breezy, entertaining read. *** out of ****

THE LEFTOVERS (Tom Perrotta) - October 30/11

This is probably the most disappointing Perrotta book I've read since I became obsessed with him. For one thing, the book takes a really long time to get going; I didn't wholeheartedly get into it until about 100 pages in. For another, the whole pseudo-rapture thing didn't really work for me. Not the event itself, which is fine, but the way it impacts certain characters. The Guilty Remnant thing is probably the most problematic issue here, as I just couldn't swallow that a suburban mother would give everything up, take a vow of silence, start smoking, and, eventually, participate in the death of her newfound friend. It's all too much. As such, the book, which unfolds from the perspectives of several different characters, just feels uneven, as certain perspectives are far more interesting and compelling than others (eg everything involving Kevin the Mayor is a highlight, especially his relationship with Aimee, his daughter's hot friend). Still, it's very well written and I was certainly curious to see how everything was wrapped up, but I've come to expect much more from Perrotta. *** out of ****

THE MASK (Dean Koontz) - October 25/11

This overlong and anticlimactic thriller is packed with dream sequences and flashbacks, and it does, as a result, become awfully difficult to care about the characters. The book feels like it should've been about 200 pages shorter, although Koontz offers up an extremely abrupt ending that leaves too much unresolved. (Was Jane actually Carol's daughter? What happens to Jane now? etc) This is, as a pretentious critic might say, lesser Koontz. ** out of ****

WHERE THE HEART IS (Billie Letts) - October 20/11

This cute but overlong book contains a number of indelible characters, especially its compelling protagonist, but the episodic structure does grow a little wearying after a while. The whole thing is certainly quite readable, but Letts' quirky sensibilities are occasionally a little suffocating. Still, I wasn't bored. **1/2 out of ****

OFF SEASON (Jack Ketchum) - October 15/11

Off Season admittedly gets off to a less-than-promising start, as Ketchum devotes much of the book's first half to the exploits of characters that never quite become indistinguishable from one another. That, plus his decision to keep switching the book's perspective, ensures that the book is initially readable but far from compelling. But once the cannibals attack, the book just moves like a rocket right through to the grim conclusion. It's just so brutal, too; little kids get their heads blown off, cut off, etc. It's impressively violent. *** out of ****

THE POWER OF SIX (Pittacus Lore) - October 14/11

My biggest problem with I Am Number Four was the action, and since this book consists almost entirely of action, I wasn't too impressed. The book is basically entertaining, but "Pittacus" devotes so much time to the characters either running from one location to the next or the protagonists battling literally hundreds of Mogs, and it was just all so overwhelming. Where's the character stuff that made the first book so engrossing? The consistency in the Twilight series is apparently a rare thing in the young-adult world. **1/2 out of ****

A DESPERATE CALL (Laura Coburn) - October 9/11

I decided to take a break from an interminable John Updike novel to read this, which I assumed would be a fast-paced kidnapping story. Not so much. Coburn offers up a languid procedural detailing the investigation that ensues after a young boy is kidnapped and murdered. (The murder was unexpected, certainly.) Some of this stuff is kind of interesting, but it just seems to go on and on. By the time the protagonist is hopping on a plane to Hawaii, I'd almost completely checked out. The book admittedly does pick up in its final stretch, but really, the whole thing is about 200 pages longer than necessary. ** out of ****

CONTAMINATION (John Vornholt) - September 29/11

This rather underwhelming ST: TNG novel generally feels like a subpar episode of the show; it's got some good stuff in it, but on the whole, it's pretty unmemorable. It doesn't help that Troi receives much of the focus here, nor does it help that the identity of the murderer is almost unreasonably obvious. Still, it's enjoyable enough and the climax was genuinely exciting. **1/2 out of ****

THE MAZE RUNNER (James Dashner) - September 24/11

I think I've hit the wall as far as post-apocalyptic teen reads go. The Maze Runner is fine, it's well written and it features an interesting premise, but there's a sameness to the book that prevents it from becoming engrossing. Dashner's decision to keep the reader in the dark for the novel's first half doesn't help matters, although the eventual reveal is pretty interesting. Let's put it this way: I didn't hate the book, but I'm also in no rush to read the sequels. **1/2 out of ****

THE FRENCH LIEUTENANT'S WOMAN (John Fowles) - September 15/11

For a while there, this was one of the worst books I'd ever read, as John Fowles proves himself to be perhaps the most pompous author in existence. Fowles offers up long-winded and utterly dull paragraphs devoted to absolute nonsense, with his continual penchant for stepping outside of the narrative exacerbating the book's nigh unreadable feel. For about the first 250 pages, it's not difficult to envision the actual story being condensed into about 10 pages. The novel admittedly does improve towards the end, but Fowles even botches this stretch with his laughably florid writing style. Seriously, Fowles, brevity is your friend. God, what a mess and a waste of time. * out of ****

REPLAY (Ken Grimwood) - September 2/11

This one really grew on me. It kind of started out as a fairly typical sci-fi offering, with the premise leading to a number of long-winded stretches and passages. But as it goes on, Replay becomes something more; it ultimately felt like a cross between The Time Traveler's Wife and The Truman Show. It's far more romantic than I would have ever expected, and Grimwood does a nice job of exploring the novel's deep themes. The book becomes increasingly involving, to the extent that I tore through the last 20 or 30%. I'd be curious to see how it holds up on a second reading. ***1/2 out of ****

A GAME OF THRONES (George R. R. Martin) - August 31/11

I actually wasn't even sure I was going to finish this, given that I've never actually read such a long fantasy book before. (My original plan was to read up to 5% on the Kindle and decide from there, but Martin admittedly hooked me right from the start.) And although I certainly enjoyed the book, it's impossible to deny that it feels much, much longer than necessary. Martin overloads the narrative with characters, exposition, flashbacks, and subplots that are, at times, overwhelming. I read the whole book and I'm still not certain who some of these characters are. I really didn't need this much backstory and setup. Still, the book is often very exciting and I did find myself drawn to the exploits of many of the central characters - especially Eddard, Dany, and Drogo. Poor Eddard. Poor, poor Eddard. **1/2 out of ****

THE SECRET BETWEEN US (Barbara Delinsky) - August 20/11

This chick-lit book contains a decent premise - a teenager hits a man and her mother takes the blame - that is effectively squandered by Delinsky. The author places a consistent emphasis on the characters' melodramatic exploits - eg the mother's anger towards her ex, a character's suspicion that her husband is cheating, the girl's guilt over the accident, etc - and it does become more and more difficult to care about any of this. The Secret Between Us is clearly attempting to come off as a Jodi Picoult-type story, but it's rarely as entertaining or compelling as Picoult's work. ** out of ****

THE TESSERACT (Alex Garland) - August 17, 2011

Um. Wow. What a terrible, uninteresting book. Garland offers up a mess of characters and proves unable to transform any of them - with one exception - into interesting, compelling figures. Rosa, the lady with the two kids and ER-loving mother, was kind of engaging, but she was definitely the exception rather than the rule. Garland's decision to consistently shift the perspective is exacerbated by the inclusion of one tedious flashback after another. The final stretch is rendered completely anticlimactic just 'cause I couldn't remember who all these people were supposed to be. I think Garland intends the reader to finish the book in one sitting. What an interminable mess. * out of ****

SAFE HAVEN (Nicholas Sparks) - August 13/11

This fairly typical effort from Sparks contains an admittedly engaging romance that is, of course, utterly idealized. But Sparks does a nice job of transforming both Alex and Katie into truly likable figures, and it's impossible not to root for their inevitable coupling. But about halfway through, Sparks begins devoting entire chapters to the perspective of Katie's abusive, reprehensible husband, and I just couldn't work up an ounce of interest in his exploits. Who cares? The Sleeping with the Enemy-like storyline does, as a result, begin to grow more and more tedious, although the inevitable battle is far more exciting that I expected. Oh, and the twist that Jo is actually the ghost of Alex's dead wife? Laughable. (I mean, really, Sparks. What were you thinking?) **1/2 out of ****

NINETEEN EIGHTY-FOUR (George Orwell) - August 11/11

Ah, now I remember when I stopped reading this about halfway through over a decade ago. (I should also mention that I basically skimmed over the entire manifesto from the Brotherhood, which takes up an absurd and unreasonable 30 pages. What a bore!) I honestly can't understand why this book is considered a classic; it's deathly dull for much of its existence and Orwell describes and explains the hell out of everything. There are a few mildly engaging stretches, but for the most part, it was a real struggle getting through this nigh interminable novel. *1/2 out of ****

RISING SUN (Michael Crichton) - August 6/11

As expected, Crichton offers up a blisteringly-paced premise that is inevitably bogged down by relentless speechifying (this time around it's the Japanese and how they're taking over). Crichton goes overboard in forcing the various characters to debate the issue in a way that no real person ever would, yet the author does a nice job of sustaining the reader's interest by offering up a consistently interesting (and deepening) mystery. The inclusion of a few unexpectedly engrossing interludes doesn't hurt either, especially the scene in which the protagonist's house is surrounded by Japanese thugs. A solid if overlong read. (I'm also wondering why Crichton never did a sequel with Connor, as the character is certainly quite fascinating.) *** out of ****

DEMON SEED (Dean Koontz) - August 2/11

Dean Koontz notoriously rewrote this book in the late '90s and that's the version that I've just finished reading. It's a fast read, certainly, but I wouldn't say it was quite as enjoyable or suspenseful as I might have hoped. Koontz's decision to frame the entire thing from the perspective of the evil robot isn't a good one, as the author spends far too much time dwelling on the artificial lifeform's meandering thoughts. (How many times do we need to see it begging for its life?) It's readable, though, and I guess that's all you can ask from Koontz. **1/2 out of ****

FARMER BOY (Laura Ingalls Wilder) - August 1/11

Much like Little House in the Big Woods, Farmer Boy comes off as an affable, readable book that is, for the most part, bogged down in the day-to-day minutia of life on a farm. Wilder goes insane in describing just how certain operations are achieved, and it does become difficult not to glaze over while reading some of her overly descriptive passages. But Almanzo is certainly a compelling character and there are a few surprisingly entertaining stretches, with the book's final 20 pages far more engrossing than I might've expected. (From Almanzo attempting to return the wallet to Almanzo deciding he wants to be a farmer, it was just compelling stuff.) **1/2 out of ****

52 PICKUP (Elmore Leonard) - July 29/11

This fast-paced and often exciting crime thriller is, at times, just a little too sleazy for its own good, as Leonard spends too much time on the exploits on the three criminals. But it moves like a rocket and contains a stellar protagonist. I also liked the way the whole thing with the aggressive union boss tied into the ending, as it seemed as though he was going to take the fall for the explosion (since he had already blown up the main character's car). The abrupt ending is a little disappointing - it would have been nice to see how the couple handled the aftermath and if they even stayed together - but that's a minor complaint for what is otherwise an entertaining, breezy book. *** out of ****

FREAKONOMICS (Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner) - July 27/11

This interesting yet overlong book admittedly does contain a number of eye-opening facts and revelations (eg the whole abortion prevents crime thing), but it's often just too academic and bogged down in facts to be as compulsively readable as it should be. It's short, at least. **1/2 out of ****

JANE EYRE (Charlotte Brontë) - July 23/11

Yeah, I know, I said I wasn't going to finish it, but it just ate away at me, so I finally decided to bite the bullet and pick up from where I left off. The book really didn't get any better. Looking at it in retrospect, Jane Eyre is packed with surprisingly decent plot twists - Mr. Rochester goes blind, the crazy lady living in his house, Jane becomes a teacher, etc - but Brontë just goes nuts with the descriptions and flowery language. (I mean, she devotes page after to page to the simplest conversations.) The book feels about 75% longer than it has any right to be. But I did like the characters and the aforementioned plot twists, so I guess it's barely passable. *1/2 out of ****

SNOW FLOWER AND THE SECRET FAN (Lisa See) - July 13/11

This passable book contains a few admittedly interesting stretches and certainly provides an eye-opening glimpse into a barbaric way of life (footbinding!), but there's not even remotely enough plot here to consistently sustain the reader's interest. It is, as a result, not surprising to note that big chunks of the novel are awfully tough to get through, and the book did, at times, feel more like work than entertainment. Still, See offers up compelling characters and a vivid picture of a specific time and place, so it's not all bad. **1/2 out of ****

SING YOU HOME (Jodi Picoult) - June 30/11

Sing You Home follows Picoult's formula to an almost laughable extent, and yet I found that I quite enjoyed this book. It's actually quite unpredictable in its early stages - I never would have guessed that Zoe would turn gay, for example - and the characters are all extremely vivid and three dimensional. The shifting perspectives does tend to wreak havoc on the momentum, however, with the stuff from Max's point of view not faring nearly as well as Zoe and Vanessa's chapters. And the expected court case isn't nearly as interesting as the human stuff, with Picoult's decision to offer up several pages to the scientific background of homosexual tendencies proving rather disastrous. But I nevertheless found myself getting choked up at the ideal ending, which might be a little predictable but refreshingly allows every character to get what they wanted. *** out of ****

DELIRIUM (Lauren Oliver) - June 25/11

I'm pretty conflicted about this one. I think that for the most part, Delirium is a very entertaining novel that tells an inherently interesting story - although it's hard to swallow that any society would accept this "cure," but okay, whatever. The book is almost ridiculously overlong, though, as Oliver is simply too descriptive and flowery for her own good. The final 50 pages just fly by, though, as Lena and Alex attempt to make their escape. (This section was just gripping.) But I'm not sure how I feel about the ending, which features Alex seemingly sacrificing himself so that Lena can escape. What exactly is there in the Wilds for Lena without Alex? I'm hoping the next book will take care of this problem... (Alex isn't really dead?) *** out of ****

THE FIRST HUSBAND (Laura Dave) - June 19/11

This short and sweet book is incredibly entertaining and certainly feels like a step above most "chick lit" type novels. Dave does a superb job of establishing the central character and her admittedly idealized existence, with the unpredictable storyline heightening the entertainment value. (I honestly wasn't sure who Annie would end up with.) Dave is occasionally a little more descriptive and verbose than necessary, but that's a small complaint for an otherwise brisk read. *** out of ****

ROBOPOCALYPSE (Daniel H. Wilson) - June 16/11

Though I'm not a fan of the oral history style, I really enjoyed this book in parts - as Wilson has packed the novel with exciting, cinematic action sequences that are unbelievably gripping (the robots attack the convenience store, the robots that crawl into a human's bloodstream, etc). There are a few lulls - the stuff with the old Japanese guy, mostly - but otherwise this is a strong book that'll make one hell of a movie. *** out of ****

SIMULACRON-3 (Daniel F. Galouye) - June 11/11

I can see why this book is considered a landmark in the world of science fiction, as it certainly seems to have inspired everything from The Matrix to Avatar. But I just found it impossible to wholeheartedly get into the consistently confusing storyline, as Galouye immediately plunges the viewer into this off-kilter world without offering up much by way of explanation. The author also offers up page after page of relentless descriptions of scientific stuff that seemed utterly meaningless to me, and although the book did improve in its final stretch, I did find myself glazing over whole paragraphs and just racing to get through this thing. *1/2 out of ****

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN (Lionel Shriver) - June 8/11

This is one of the most frustratingly uneven books I've read in a long time. Shriver takes a relatively simple story and places it within the context of an absolutely epic framework, exploring the title character's life from birth right through to that fatal Thursday. As such, the book is filled with long, pointless stretches in which Shriver overdescribes and overexplains everything. It certainly doesn't help that Eva's decision to stay with Kevin the whole time doesn't make a lick of sense. By that same token, however, the characters all become incredibly vivid and developed, and the book's final stretch, detailing the shooting and its aftermath, is nothing short of riveting. I was especially shocked to discover that Kevin had killed the father and the poor, poor sister. It just seems weird that such a trashy premise has been given such a highfalutin treatment. *** out of ****

POWER HUNGRY (Howard Weinstein) - May 28/11

I'm not sure why I haven't read any of my Next Generation books until now, because this was quite an enjoyable little novel. The storyline basically feels like a padded-out episode of the show, and while the narrative does drag in places, the final stretch is actually a lot more exciting than I might've anticipated. It was just nice enjoying another adventure with my beloved Next Generation characters. *** out of ****

THE PILOT'S WIFE (Anita Shreve) - May 24/11

This entertaining yet overlong book tells the story of one woman's efforts at discovering the truth after her husband dies in a plane explosion. I wonder what the experience of reading the book would have been like had I known the twist (Jack has another family), as Shreve doesn't reveal it until well past the halfway mark. The ending is confusing, but a quick search on Google shows that other folks found it equally baffling. Still, it's a solid read. *** out of ****

BLACK FRIDAY (James Patterson) - May 20/11

This serviceable thriller offers up several exciting interludes and a smattering of memorable characters, yet Patterson diminishes the book's impact by padding out the story to an almost absurd degree. The book is probably 200 pages longer than it needs to be, and by the end, I was starting to glaze over paragraphs describing who was doing what and why they were doing it. **1/2 out of ****

SUBMARINE (Joe Dunthorne) - May 17/11

This passable coming-of-age book is certainly a brisk read - I started it two days ago - but it's just so uneven and so weird that I found myself glazing over certain overly descriptive passages. Dunthorne's odd style - the dude loves short sentences - took some time getting used to, and the super deadpan narrative from the main character just seems needlessly odd until you realize that the kid is probably autistic. (I kind of admire the fact that there wasn't a single reference to this.) So, yeah, pretty entertaining but nothing special. **1/2 out of ****

THE KITE RUNNER (Khaled Hosseini) - May 9/11

I certainly enjoyed this a lot more than I thought I would, though the movie is much better. The problem is that Hosseini spends too much time on things that aren't terribly interesting; like the movie, the book features an overlong opening 100 pages devoted to the childhood exploits of Amir and Hassan. Unlike the movie (I think), the book also suffers from a fairly needless final 70 pages revolving around Amir's efforts at getting Hassan's son into America (with the kid's suicide attempt especially pointless). But the book's middle is incredibly engrossing and entertaining, with the confrontation with Sohrab's kidnapper especially suspenseful. And yeah, I choked up a few times. But still, the book is just much longer than it needs to be, which diminishes its overall impact. *** out of ****

CELL (Stephen King) - April 30/11

This readable but disappointing book from King almost comes off as a parody of his past work, as what starts out as a routine zombie story morphs into something involving mind-reading, levitation, and other mind tricks that have formed the backbone of so many King books. There are some very exciting stretches here - the explosion at the fair, for example - but King bogs the book down with elements that just aren't terribly interesting. (Did the zombies really need a malevolent leader?) The ambiguous ending is a little frustrating, and in the end, Cell does feel like it's at least 100 pages too long. **1/2 out of ****

SOMETHING BORROWED (Emily Giffin) - April 23/11

Ah, that's just what I needed after the miserable Tiger's Wife. This breezy, mindless, and thoroughly readable romantic comedy doesn't offer up any great shakes in terms of originality, but it's well written and the characters are certainly quite likable. Giffin sometimes goes a little overboard in terms of backstory and flashbacks, but otherwise, I was happy to just sit and read about the love triangle between Darcy, Dex, and Rachel. *** out of ****

THE TIGER'S WIFE (Tea Obreht) - April 21/11

Jesus Christ, what an ordeal. Though technically well written - who cares, though? - The Tiger's Wife is an absolutely interminable novel that just limps along from chapter to chapter without even a hint of momentum. The wafer-thin protagonist remains hopelessly underdeveloped from start to finish, as Obreht instead emphasizes a series of dull, incredibly stupid short stories that aren't interesting in the least. Every single paragraph in this infuriating book is overwritten to an almost absurd degree; Obreht needs to learn about flow and readability. What an ordeal. 1/2* out of ****

SON OF INTERFLUX (Gordon Korman) - April 11/11

Gordon Korman's success continues to baffle me. He's improved as a writer here, but man oh man, the book is just deathly dull. I can't believe how long it took me to read it. There's no momentum, no interesting characters, and it just goes on and on. And it's not even remotely funny, either. Sheesh. Two more of these suckers to get through... * out of ****

SON OF ROSEMARY (Ira Levin) - April 3/11

Wow. What a disappointment. It's hard to believe this was even written by the same man, as the book primarily comes off as a tedious slog that's been suffused with barely-developed and wholly uninteresting characters. Levin spends far too much time describing Andy and his opulent environment, and Rosemary hardly seems like the same character. (After spending more than two decades in a coma, it seems a little odd that she'd immediately bounce back into her life without a word of complaint.) I kind of liked the ending, in which Rosemary either dreamed the entire thing or Andy reversed time to give her another chance, but it's too little too late. ** out of ****

WATER FOR ELEPHANTS (Sara Gruen) - April 1/11

This slightly overlong yet thoroughly entertaining book certainly held my attention from start to finish, although some of the descriptions of the mistreatment of animals were hard to take. Likewise, Gruen occasionally goes a little overboard in describing the ins and outs of the circus life. But I enjoyed the love triangle and I was relieved that Jacob and Marlena got together in the end. (I feared that Marlena would get killed or something.) The climactic stampede is extremely well done and very exciting, and I liked that last little twist (Jacob joins the circus once more). ***1/2 out of ****

ROSEMARY'S BABY (Ira Levin) - March 29/11

Wow! What a captivating, thoroughly readable, and surprisingly suspenseful book. Ira Levin does a superb job of establishing the various characters and the situation, and even though I basically knew where everything was going, Levin still managed to have me on the edge of my seat at a few pivotal points. The book almost feels like the template for stories of this ilk, as it contains all of the elements that one might've predicted - including the friend who tries to warn her and the friendly doctor who turns out not to be so friendly. And although I had a little difficulty swallowing the fact that Rosemary's husband would've put her wife through all that just for some fame, Rosemary's Baby is as entertaining a book as I can easily recall. (The ending seems a little ludicrous, though, as Rosemary goes from shock to acceptance in just a few pages.) **** out of ****

SWAMPLANDIA! (Karen Russell) - March 27/11

This horrible, utterly boring book started out well enough, but eventually becomes as interminable a read as I can easily imagine. The latter half, which is devoted primarily to Ava's astoundingly dull trip through the swamps of Florida, seems to have been written in a stream-of-consciousness style by Russell, which ensures that it's chock full of long, absurdly descriptive passages that are sure to frustrate and infuriate most readers. There are a few fairly decent stretches here - ie the flashback into the death of a Depression-era figure who is memorably carried off by buzzards - but really, this is exactly the kind of book I dread encountering. (And it doesn't surprise me that it's been compared to Conrad, as the swamp stuff is just as unreadable and obnoxious as anything in Heart of Darkness.) * out of ****

ZOMBIE SPACESHIP WASTELAND (Patton Oswalt) - March 20/11

This incredibly uneven work from my favorite comedian did come off as a disappointment, as Oswalt has peppered the book with a number of pretentious and all-too-surreal chapters that really just did nothing for me (ie the greeting cards). However, Oswalt has also include several admittedly engrossing stretches - with the highlight his ill-fated stint at a comedy club in Surrey. The autobiographical stuff was as entertaining and funny as I might've hoped; I just wish he had jettisoned some of the more overtly weird stuff. **1/2 out of ****

STARTER FOR TEN (David Nicholls) - March 19/11

Another great book from David Nicholls. Nicholls has this amazing ability to wring authentic laughs out of authentic-sounding dialogue, so much so that I found myself stifling laughter on the subway. The characters are all incredibly vivid, and though it does seem fairly obvious that Brian is going to end up with Rebecca, the manner by which he does so is actually quite well done and not as hackneyed as I might've feared. The climactic trivia battle is incredibly exhilarating, as is the realization that Brian has answered before the question has been asked. A breezy, thoroughly entertaining novel. ***1/2 out of ****

I WANT TO GO HOME! (Gordon Korman) - March 14/11

I'm starting to get the impression that Gordon Korman is somewhat bottom of the barrel as far as young adult writers go. Korman offers up an aggressively repetitive storyline - kid tries to escape camp, fails, tries again, etc - and is utterly unable to transform any of the characters into compelling, authentic figures. Even young kids would find this overlong and pointless. * out of ****

JANE EYRE (Charlotte Bronte) - March 12/11

Well, I tried. Jane Eyre isn't as bad as some other so-called classics I've tried to read, but boy oh boy, it just goes on and on. Bronte offers up some of the most flowery prose I've ever read, and her characters speak in a manner that's nothing short of absurd. I was determined to finish this one, but I eventually just got to the point where my eyes were glazing over whole paragraphs, so I just gave up on page 192. No rating.

AN OBJECT OF BEAUTY (Steve Martin) - February 27/11

I'm a little conflicted about this one. On the one hand, the story stuff is interesting and it's hard not to be drawn into Lacey's ongoing exploits in the art world (from her initial start at an auction house to opening her own gallery to participating in fraud). But the book also includes long, interminable stretches in which Martin describes the art world and how it operates. These portions of the book seem designed to appeal solely to those with an inherent interest in the art scene and essentially had me glazing over whole paragraphs. But the book did improve toward the end as the plot became more prominent, so I would have to give it a marginal recommendation. (It's still awfully disappointing, though, given the strength of Martin's first two books.) **1/2 out of ****

PAYBACK aka THE HUNTER (Richard Stark) - February 21/11

I don't know why, but I have a memory of starting this book many years ago and not finishing it. I think I had a problem with Stark's stark style, but reading it now, I found that the style really complemented the surprisingly brutal story. Some of the overly descriptive passages don't fare too well - especially the climactic train yard thing - but otherwise, this is a lean, mean, fast-paced book featuring a vivid badass at its center. *** out of ****

SARAH'S KEY (Tatiana De Rosnay) - February 17/11

Though it took me a while to get used to the two timelines - it seemed like just as I was getting into the story, it'd switch to the other timeline - Sarah's Key eventually established itself as a surprisingly gripping little book. The stuff involving the past turns out to be rather limited, though there are several highlights during this portion (ie Sarah hides from Nazis in a sack of potatoes). And though the book seems to peter out a little towards the end - it's hard to really care about Julia's move to NYC - Sarah's Key nevertheless features a number of surprisingly touching interludes and stands as one of the more readable books I've tackled in a while. ***1/2 out of ****

THE UNNAMED (Joshua Ferris) - February 14/11

Ugh, what an obnoxious book. The Unnamed starts out reasonably well, with its rather ludicrous story of a man who can't stop himself from walking. Though Ferris' writing style is a little ostentatiously pretentious, the author generally does a nice job of portraying the protagonist's condition and his efforts at sustaining his home and work lives. But then Ferris has the character go crazy, and the reader is treated to an interminable stretch in which he rambles on and on (and on). It didn't work in Spider and it doesn't work here. By the time the guy becomes lucid again, it's impossible to care and the last 50 pages just drag for what feels like an eternity. * out of ****

DON'T SPEAK TO STRANGERS (Marion Rosen) - February 9/11

This passable book feels like an episode of Law & Order: SVU; it gets the job done but just barely. It's not especially well written and it's often laughably stupid (ie the FBI agent's schoolgirl crush on her superior), but there are a few tense sequences sprinkled here and there. The trashiness of the book ensures that the references to the girl's ongoing rape feel exploitative and unnecessary, and the ending is way, way too abrupt (really? We don't get to see Jonathan reunite with his parents? WTF?) **1/2 out of ****

ONE DAY (David Nicholls) - February 5/11

For a while there, One Day had established itself as one of the best books I'd ever read. It's just so entertaining and brilliantly done, as Nicholls does an amazing job of establishing the two incredibly vivid characters and their yearly exploits. It just feels real and authentic, and the book often made me laugh out loud. But then Nicholls decides to kill off Emma. I mean really, WTF. (I actually said "what!" out loud following her death.) It's a stupid ending that really diminishes the book's overall impact, though I was happy that at least Dexter found love with Maddy. Very frustrating. And we never found out what Emma's inscription to Dexter on his copy of her book was! What up with that? ***1/2 out of ****

ACTS OF MALICE (Perri O'Shaughnessy) - February 1/11

This is a sporadically entertaining yet ridiculously overlong legal thriller that feels like a 15o page novel ungainly expanded out to 450 pages. There's some interesting stuff here, but the author has filled the book with so many subplots and instances of padding that it eventually becomes a little tedious. I dunno; it's basically entertaining, in spite of the fact that it's not very well written, and the ending was pretty exciting. (Can't believe they killed Collier.) **1/2 out of ****

I AM NUMBER FOUR (Pittacus Lore) - January 25/11

This is easily the best book I've read in a while. It's super fast-paced, genuinely exciting, and filled with impressively memorable characters. (RIP Henri!) It definitely reminded me of Twilight at times, which might be why I enjoyed it so much. The action-heavy ending is, at times, a little too descriptive for its own good, but it's immediately followed by a number of character-centric sequences that got me a little choked up. A strong start to a hopefully strong series. (Let's hope this isn't another Hunger Games...) ***1/2 out of ****

NO COINS, PLEASE (Gordon Korman) - January 20/11

This cute, inoffensive children's book is actually quite poorly written by Korman, though he was apparently a teenager when he wrote it. The highlight is probably Artie's different schemes (ie the cow-milking thing, the attack jelly, etc), as the other characters remain utterly underdeveloped from start to finish. (I never did figure out who was who.) *1/2 out of ****

THE IRRESISTIBLE HENRY HOUSE (Lisa Grunwald) - January 15/11

This interesting yet overlong book charts the upbringing and young adulthood of a "practice baby" named Henry House. Grunwald does a good job of vividly establishing the '50s world and the various characters, yet the meandering structure of the book ensures that it runs out of steam somewhere around the halfway point. And while I did enjoy the stuff involving Henry's work at Disney, the book's second half, which tediously unfolds in the swinging '60s, is quite a slog to get through. **1/2 out of ****

THE HAUNTING (Shirley Jackson) - January 1, 2011

Oh god. What an awful, horrible little book. Shirley Jackson is as incompetent a writer as I've had the misfortune to come across, and it just blows my mind that this story is even remotely well known. Jackson offers up a selection of laughably phony characters and has them spout dialogue that doesn't even sound authentic accidentally. She has this weird writing style that renders entire stretches of the book unintelligible, and I still have absolutely no idea what happened in the house. It's just incoherent and unreadable. What a waste (and a frequently infuriating ordeal). 1/2* out of ****

THE WAR FOR LATE NIGHT (Bill Carter) - December 15/10

Like The Late Shift, The War for Late Night is an interesting but overlong book that is too often bogged down in the business side of things. I honestly don't care too much about what the various executives did during this whole event, and the book is at its best when focused on the moves and actions of the talent involved. **1/2 out of ****

FULL DARK, NO STARS (Stephen King) - December 10/10

This relatively strong collection of four stories starts out with a bit of a whimper, as 1922 wears out its welcome somewhere around its midway point. But the revenge tale, about a woman who sets out to kill her rapist but also winds up killing his mother and brother, really stood out for me, while the other two stories are also quite good (especially the tale of a wife who learns her husband is a serial killer). King's reliance on oddball elements notwithstanding (ie the wife's "mirror universe" fantasies), Full Dark, No Stars is right up there with the best of his recent work. *** out of ****

TRUE GRIT (Charles Portis) - December 4/10

This surprisingly entertaining and readable Western features plenty of memorable characters and a number of thoroughly exciting sequences. The book does slow down in its rather uneventful midsection, but it picks up towards the end. *** out of ****

BEFORE I FALL (Lauren Oliver) - November 30/10

This entertaining but long book follows a teenager as she dies in a car crash and subsequently spends the day of her death over and over again. It's an intriguing premise that's utilized to consistently readable effect by Oliver, as the author manages to transform a bitchy teenager (and her bitchy friends) into a thoroughly likeable figure. The inclusion of Twilight-esque bits of romance works well and it's ultimately clear that teenagers will enjoy this book the most. But Oliver occasionally forgets her audience and offers up an overly arty writing style that obscures the plot and the emotion of the story (and results in a weird, deeply unsatisfying conclusion that's rather confusing). (I mean, she died, right? I read it over a few times and I'm still not positive.) *** out of ****

THE CRY OF THE OWL (Patricia Highsmith) - November 24/10

What an absolute mess of a book. The first half is kind of readable, once you overlook the inherently ludicrous nature of the premise. (A woman falls in love with her peeping tom? Really?) But the book just gets worse and worse as it goes along, as Highsmith seems to have no idea where to take the story and just makes things up as she goes along. Having the woman commit suicide is disastrous, as it results in about 100 pages of interminable pointlessness. (Who cares about Robert's efforts at proving his innocence? We know he's innocent, so it's all just so meaningless.) Ugh, what an ordeal. * out of ****

NEMESIS (Philip Roth) - November 20/10

A typically depressing and bleak effort from Roth, Nemesis tells the story of a circa WWII 23-year-old who eventually becomes convinced that he was the carrier of the polio that maimed and killed several teenagers - which effectively ruins the remainder of his life (he leaves his loving fiancee because he doesn't want her to be saddled with a cripple). The lack of plot does take some getting used to, but Roth's compelling writing style undoubtedly compensates for the book's rather thin storyline. It's just so downbeat, though, as Roth includes questions of faith and the entire final 50 pages are devoted to flashbacks in which we learn just how Bucky, the vigorous hero, turned away from life following the polio scare. *** out of ****

THE GIRL WHO KICKED THE HORNET'S NEST (Stieg Larsson) - November 15/10

As was the case with its two predecessors, The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest is overlong by about 200 pages - with the first 200 pages jam-packed with names and references that are often impossible to easily follow. But there reaches a point at which the narrative picks up and takes off and doesn't stop until the very end. (The cinematic sequence in which a dozen rogue Sapo agents are simultaneously arrested is nothing short of thrilling, while the court case of Lisbeth Salander is equally captivating.) I'm also happy that the book ended with a fair amount of finality, as Blomkvist apparently finds happiness with that cop... As for Lisbeth, well, at least she forgave Blomkvist and let him back into her life. A special, once-in-a-decade trilogy. ***1/2 out of ****

MOCKINGJAY (Suzanne Collins) - October 29/10

The final book in the Hunger Games trilogy ensures that the series ends with a whimper, as the book is just relentlessly uneven, overlong, and anticlimactic. The book fares especially poorly in its first 200 pages, as Katniss and company are forced to live underground in a bunker - with this section of the story awfully reminiscent of The Host. The book does improve slightly as Katniss, Gale, Peeta, and the rest embark on their mission to assassinate President Snow, yet the bizarre (yet admittedly unpredictable) final 40 pages or so feels a little anticlimactic. (The big choice between Gale and Peeta turns out not to be a choice at all, as Katniss is effectively forced to be with Peeta after Gale basically just disappears.) It's just disappointing, is all, given how spectacularly entertaining The Hunger Games was. **1/2 out of ****

LITTLE HOUSE IN THE BIG WOODS (Laura Ingalls Wilder) - October 13/10

This affable book is basically enjoyable enough, though the relentlessly uneventful atmosphere is occasionally a little oppressive (ie I felt my eyes glaze over some of Wilder's more overtly descriptive passages). The characters are all quite personable and Wilder does a nice job of vividly establishing their meager yet fulfilling lives, so I'm certainly curious to check out the remaining books in the series. **1/2 out of ****

AFTER THE BOMB (Gloria D. Miklowitz) - October 12/10

It's really quite remarkable just how terrible this book is, given the seemingly can't-miss nature of its premise. But Miklowitz is simply unable to elicit any feelings of excitement or sympathy in the reader, and her less-than-competent writing style ensures that the book feels much longer than its 156 pages. A true waste. * out of ****

BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA (Katherine Paterson) - October 4/10

Much like the movie, I found myself interested by not exactly rapt during the book's midsection - which revolves around the central characters' growing friendship and their imaginary exploits in Terabithia. But the book becomes surprisingly compelling and quite moving once Leslie dies, with the final few pages packing an unexpected emotional wallop. *** out of ****

HEART OF DARKNESS (Joseph Conrad) - September 30/10

The horror, the horror. This absolutely abysmal book takes almost 120 pages to tell a story I can sum up in one sentence: some dude heads out into the jungle to find a missing ivory trader named Kurtz, but is shocked to discover that Kurtz has gone native and is ruling over his underlings with an iron fist. That's it, yet Conrad rambles on incessantly page after page and just goes insane describing everything in sight. There's no plot here, nor are there any interesting characters. It's just a pretentious mess, pure and simple. At least it's (relatively) short. no stars out of ****

THE FACE OF FEAR (Dean Koontz) - September 28/10

This passable thriller features plenty of Koontz cliches - I'm especially getting tired of the playful banter between the main couple - and a buildup that's a little too deliberate, but the payoff is pretty decent (although Koontz is overly verbose when it comes to describing the climbing equipment and its use). This would probably work better as a movie. (The demise of the villain, crushed by a snow plow, is a highlight.) **1/2 out of ****

THE SKELETON MAN (Jay Bennett) - September 22/10

Well, this plan to read all of my old youth fiction books before dumping them seems to have backfired already. This is a badly written novel that seems to consist primarily of hard-boiled (yet thoroughly unconvincing) dialogue, with the serviceable (yet all-too-slight) storyline squandered by Bennett. The deux-ex-machina appearance of a treasury agent at the end is nothing short of ridiculous, and it's worth noting that although it's super short, The Skeleton Man felt a whole lot longer than most actual novels. * out of ****

THE LATE SHIFT (Bill Carter) - September 18/10

This interesting yet overlong book revolving around the battle for late night certainly has its moments, yet it's clear that Carter often bogs things down with needless details and repetitiveness. **1/2 out of ****

THE GIRL WHO PLAYED WITH FIRE (Stieg Larsson) - September 9/10

As was the case with its predecessor, The Girl Who Played with Fire is undeniably much longer than it really needs to be - ie all the sex crime stuff that dominates the middle is not exactly enthralling - yet the novel contains several seriously entertaining and enthralling interludes that compensate for its overlength (including an amazing fight between a pro boxer and a giant that doesn't feel pain). And, of course, Lisbeth Salander's exploits remain the high point here - which also explains why that midsection isn't that spectacular, since she's absent for much of it. The ending even got me a little choked up. Good stuff. ***1/2 out of ****

EPITAPH (James Siegel) - August 8/10

It's hard to believe that this interminable mystery is from the same writer of crackerjack thrillers like Deceit and Derailed. Siegel's hard-bitten style grows tiresome almost immediately and it becomes impossible to work up even an ounce of interest in the protagonist's efforts to track down a prolific serial killer. The convoluted narrative ensures that the whole thing is often a lot more confusing than one might've expected and I certainly found myself glazing over whole paragraphs. *1/2 out of ****

THINK OF A NUMBER (John Verdon) - August 1/10

Well, that was a bit of a rollercoaster ride. The first 100 pages of the book were so dull and so repetitive, that I honestly wanted to quit reading. It didn't help that I thought I had figured out the ending. (I thought the whole thing was going to be a Game-like setup by the main character's wife.) But then the man that triggered the whole investigation was murdered and I was intrigued. The rest of the book - especially the tense, suspenseful final 50 pages - is quite readable, yet it's clear that the whole thing feels about twice as long as it needs to be. Still, Verdon is a fantastic writer and he does have a knack for vividly describing any given situation. *** out of ****

NEVER LET ME GO (Kazuo Ishiguro) - July 26/10

What an obnoxious, dull book. Ishiguro is a good writer, to be sure, but the man just has no idea how to capture and hold the reader's interest. It doesn't help that the entire book is told as a series of stories and recollections by the main character, which ensures that there's absolutely no momentum or dramatic heft. I can't recall a novel where I was only able to read a few pages before becoming so bored that I had to stop. And then there's the illogical nature of the storyline. So they're all clones; why does it not occur to any of them to try and escape? They all submit so willingly to their own deaths. It's absolutely absurd. Why anyone would praise this book is beyond me. (And instead of becoming more interesting as the end nears, the novel gets more and more dull and episodic. I mean, really, WTF.) * out of ****

RELENTLESS (Dean Koontz) - July 18/10

This typically uneven effort from Koontz admittedly does pick up towards the end, but it's a hell of a slog getting there. The storyline - in which a book critic attempts to savagely murder a writer and his family - is simply far too ludicrous to ever completely buy (until the epic conspiracy is made clear, anyway) and Koontz has infused the characters with an unreasonably quirky sensibility (ie the kid is super smart and super sassy, the wife's survivalist family members, etc). I'll admit I was surprised by the sci-fi stuff that cropped up towards the end - the teleporting dog and the time rewinder - but really, I can't help but wonder what it was that I used to love so much about Koontz's work. **1/2 out of ****

LOST (Alice Lichtenstein) - July 11/10

There's a lot in Lost worth liking - including the narrative (revolving around an elderly man with dementia who is lost in the snowy woods) and the characters - Lichtenstein's almost unreasonably flowery prose can be grating and does tend to occasionally negate the book's positives. It wouldn't surprise me to learn that Lichtenstein was best known for writing poetry, as she infuses many of the novel's passages with an overwrought style that's often somewhat oppressive. Still, I liked the characters and the mystery (although it would have been nice to have received a little more closure with Jeff). **1/2 out of ****

FEAR THE WORST (Linwood Barclay) - July 5/10

Though I did have some problems with the narrative - the bad guys are either unreasonably sarcastic or they're talking when they should be killing - Fear the Worst is a very fast-paced novel that kept me reader longer after I wanted to stop. I liked the characters, and I enjoyed the little touches that Barclay has included (ie he'll offer a throwaway detail in the first half that comes into play in a big way later on). The book loses a few points for its frustratingly abrupt ending, as it would have been nice to have spent a page or two with Tim and Syd once they're reunited (and wouldn't Tim have been charged with something for killing those two guys and shooting that one guy in the knee?) *** out of ****

THE SHORT SECOND LIFE OF BREE TANNER (Stephenie Meyer) - July 1/10

This addendum to Eclipse isn't even remotely up to the standards of the Twilight series, as the majority of the book follows the plotless escapades of the central character. It's primarily just her either cowering from Riley or hanging out with another newborn named Diego, and it's just not very interesting since we don't have anything invested in her as a character. The book does, however, pick up once that battle in the field arrives and Bree finds herself face to face with the Cullens and the Volturi. That part was quite good, but probably only because it was right out of Eclipse. **1/2 out of ****

THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO (Stieg Larsson) - June 26/10

This incredibly entertaining (yet overlong) book spends quite a bit of time setting everything up and establishing the characters (Mikael and Lisbeth don't even meet until around page 500!), but the story is so well planned out and executed, that it's easy enough to overlook the book's somewhat erratic structure. And while Mikael is indeed painted as a very vivid protagonist, I found that I was more interested in Lisbeth's exploits (what an original, fascinating character). Likewise, the financial stuff involving Mikael's nemesis isn't nearly as entertaining as the central mystery (Harriet being alive is one of the best WTF moments I've encountered in a while), although it is occasionally a little difficult to keep track of all the characters. I only hope that the sequels focus more on Lisbeth. *** out of ****

HIGH-RISE (JG Ballard) - June 14/10

Quite literally one of the worst books I've ever read, High-Rise is an utterly interminable and pervasively pointless novel that is completely devoid of positive attributes. Ballard's complete and total (and shocking) lack of talent is reflected in the absence of interesting or even developed characters, and the increasingly outlandish storyline is nothing short of absurd. There's absolutely nothing here to hold the reader's interest. Ballard is an atrocious writer who seems to lack even a rudimentary understanding of what it takes to craft a marginally interesting story. My god. You could take a Chinese novel and translate it directly into English and it would still be more coherent and compelling than this piece of shit. Ballard, there's a special place in hell for you for writing something this oppressive and worthless. no stars out of ****

HORNS (Joe Hill) - June 10/10

Another frustratingly uneven book from Hill. Horns opens well, though, as Hill offers up an irresistible 70 pages or so in which the main character discovers his horns and the power that they contain. But then Hill does this weird thing in which he cuts to a flashback story about said protagonist and an adventure atop a very tall hill, which is interesting in its own way, I suppose, but basically kills the momentum of the story. The remainder of the book is like that; story followed by flashbacks, and it gets awfully frustrating. There's still plenty here to like, however (including the grisly manner by which Eric, who chokes on a snake, meets his maker), and Hill is certainly a talented writer. He just needs to streamline his stories. **1/2 out of ****

THE CURIOUS INCIDENT OF THE DOG IN THE NIGHT-TIME (Mark Haddon) - June 7/10

This seriously entertaining book, which follows an autistic teen as he attempts to solve a dog's murder and eventually makes his way to London, features one of the most compelling protagonists I've encountered in quite some time, as Haddon effortlessly gets inside the head of an autistic person and paints a rather vivid portrait of how they view the world. And though the book occasionally gets bogged down in digressions, there are so many surprise twists (his mother isn't dead!) and well-conceived set pieces (the train station) that it becomes impossible not to just breeze through the novel in a few days. ***1/2 out of ****

DEADLINE (Chris Crutcher) - June 5/10

I needed this book after this string of underwhelming and overwritten "adult" novels (I'm in the middle of Ballard's High-Rise as I write this). The book has its problems - the emphasis on football, the rather silly conversations with "Hey-Soos," etc - but it's often quite moving and very entertaining. I could've used more stuff revolving around Ben's relationship with Dallas Suzuki, but otherwise, I really enjoyed this one. *** out of ****

SOLAR (Ian McEwan) - May 27/10

I'm starting to have my doubts about Ian McEwan. Though Solar is as well written as the reader might've expected, McEwan is simply unable to capture and sustain one's interest over the course of the novel's meandering storyline. This is despite the presence of several extremely vivid interludes, including Beard's trip into the arctic (where he assumes that his penis has broken off!) and Beard's (wrong) assumption that a stranger on a train is challenging him for his bag of chips. It's also worth noting that everything comes together very nicely at the end, as all the problems that have been plaguing Beard throughout the novel essentially collide in Texas (with the very end actually reminding me of A Serious Man's finale). But that midsection. Yikes. Way too much science stuff and not enough plot. ** out of ****

THE HOT ZONE (Richard Preston) - May 15/10

Oh, god. What an excruciating nightmare this book was. While I was reading it, I couldn't help but think that it felt like a five page article that had been tortuously expanded to over 400 (!) pages - and, as it turns out, that's exactly what Preston did. There are certainly a few interesting things here, but my god, I can't recall another book that so blatantly felt like the author was just treading water from start to finish. What a colossal bore. * out of ****

STAR (Peter Biskind) - April 27/10

Wow. This incredibly long book - seriously, it felt like the longest book I've ever read, and that includes Under the Dome - tells the exhausting story of Warren Beatty's upbringing and career. Biskind has certainly packed the book with a number of fascinating tidbits and the book certainly proves an eye-opening look into the darker side of Hollywood. But the darn thing is just way too long; Biskind is given to repetition and he often includes his own opinions, which is hardly necessary. It's consequently impossible not to think that Star would've worked much, much better at a fraction of the length. (Seriously, it took me two long weeks to finish this crazy thing!) **1/2 out of ****

THE LAST SONG (Nicholas Sparks) - April 12/10

This satisfying yet overlong romance - seriously, it feels like it's 200 pages longer than necessary - ultimately comes off as a typical Sparks book, and there are very few plot twists here that one doesn't see coming miles away. Sparks also lays on the religious stuff a little thick, and he tends to be awfully descriptive when one really just wants him to move the story along. But the character's are all quite well developed, and the stuff with Ronnie and her father is surprisingly moving (if depressing). And, it's worth noting, this seems to be the rare Sparks book in which the two lovers actually get together in the end. **1/2 out of ****

HERE'S THE DEAL: DON'T TOUCH ME (Howie Mandel) - April 5/10

Though it started out extremely poorly - I just don't care about Howie's childhood or the myriad of unusually cruel pranks he's pulled over the years - this book eventually became surprisingly readable and almost brutally honest. Mandel talks about his successes and his medical problems with a candidness that proves impossible to resist, and the book ultimately does what all good autiobiographies do: it makes the reader feel as though they know the writer personally. *** out of ****

PUPPY CHOW IS BETTER THAN PROZAC (Bruce Goldstein) - April 3/10

Okay, so even though the book improved immensely as it went along, this doesn't excuse the fact that the first half is just about intolerable. I suppose Goldstein wrote this portion of the book while suffering from the effects of his bipolar disease, but it doesn't excuse the fact that it's about the worst-written stuff I've ever seen. It's what I imagine in would look like if Tim ever wrote a book. But as the book progressed and Ozzy entered Goldstein's life, I admit that I was kind of drawn into his story and the way that people flocked to him because of the dog (although if I had to read "look at the puppeeee" one more time, I think I would've screamed). Otherwise, you can't help but read this stuff and think that Goldstein should just man up and get on with things. *1/2 out of ****

DRIVER (James Sallis) - March 27/10

I guess the comparison to Jim Thompson should've been a warning sign. This short yet long novel, revolving around a mysterious figure named Driver and the fallout of a job (that has, naturally, turned bad), is intriguing initially, as Sallis effectively peppers the book with several impressively brutal sequences and a spare, non-linear structure that is, for a little while, quite compelling. But Sallis' almost comically hard-bitten style grows old by about the midpoint and it becomes increasingly impossible to work up any enthusiasm for the relentlessly seedy story. This reads like a truncated screenplay, which leads me to believe that it'll work a whole lot better as a movie. ** out of ****

THE FUTURIST (Rebecca Keegan) - March 17/10

This is a fascinating behind-the-scenes look at James Cameron's career up to Avatar. The book contains a number of eye-opening anecdotes and trivia bites, and although Keegan occasionally goes overboard in describing some of the stuntwork within his movies, this is definitely worth a read for fans of Cameron or just films in general. *** out of ****

HOUSE RULES (Jodi Picoult) - March 22/10

This long but incredibly breezy book follows Picoult's My Sister's Keeper formula to an almost absurd extent - with the shifting perspectives, the sibling who is involved in illicit activities, and the big court case (followed by a twist ending). It's all so well done and well written that I was able to overlook the familiarity of the story, and Picoult certainly does a nice job of establishing several extremely vivid characters. But once the trial rolls around, I found myself losing interest - primarily because it just became really repetitive and I was ready for her to get to the point already. But this is only 100 pages in an otherwise captivating novel. (Oh, and I figured out what actually happened well before the halfway mark. I'm curious if other readers found it equally predictable.) *** out of ****

THE WIFE'S TALE (Lori Lansens) - March 18/10

Though extremely chick-flick-esque, The Wife's Tale is a vivid and consistently readable story about an obese 40-something woman who embarks on a journey of self-discovery after her husband vanishes. Lansens overwhelms the reader with flashbacks within the first 100 pages, admittedly, but once Mary Gooch heads out to California, the story adopts an episodic feel and becomes quite engaging. *** out of ****

SECRETS OF EDEN (Chris Bohjalian) - March 13/10

My usual complaint for Bohjalian's books applies here - it's just too long - but the book is admittedly very well written and vividly paints a picture of the aftermath of the murder/suicide. Bohjalian's questionable decision to break the novel up into four parts - each from the perspective of a different character - doesn't entirely work, as it's difficult not to derive more enjoyment out of certain characters than others (ie the final part, from the POV of daughter Katie, is repetitive and dull). It's interesting to note that the mystery of the novel - who killed George? - isn't resolved until the very last line (it was Katie). *** out of ****

THE KILLER INSIDE ME (Jim Thompson) - March 6/10

This book started out fairly well, with its gritty sensibilities and unflinching violence. But the pervasively meandering storyline eventually grew oppressive, and I had to struggle to finish the last 50 or 60 pages. This might've worked as a short story, but as a 200+ page novel, it's nothing less than an interminable disaster. ** out of ****

EATING ANIMALS (Jonathan Safran Foer) - March 2/10

Overlong by about 100 pages, Eating Animals is certainly an eye-opening look into the harsh conditions within so-called "factory farms" and there's little doubt that Foer makes a compelling argument for more humane meat-processing plants (or quitting meat altogether). This is despite his sporadically pretentious writing style and his tendency to repeat himself, as well as the inclusion of several stretches that simply feel far too academic (ie my eyes were glazing over whole paragraphs). Still, this is an impassioned work that gets its point across (ie I'm gonna try to cut down on meat for the next little while). **1/2 out of ****

LABOR DAY (Joyce Maynard) - February 26/10

I'm kind of conflicted on this one. On the one hand, the book really became quite involving in its second half and offered a vivid portrait of six days in the life of a outcast 13-year-old. But on the other hand, the initial setup of the narrative is simply too hard to comfortably swallow - with the cavalier way that the protagonist's mother takes in the escaped convict (and her decision to quickly fall into bed with him) just too out-there to easily accept. Without that little hiccup, Labor Day would probably have fared a whole lot better - as Maynard is a strong writer with an obvious talent for cultivating a very specific time and place. *** out of ****

PIRATE LATITUDES (Michael Crichton) - February 21/10

Though it started out well, with that sequence in which the main character assembles his team, Oceans 11 style, Pirate Latitudes suffers from a midsection that's simply too uneventful for its own good. Crichton is clearly interested in exploring the minutia of a pirate's day-to-day life on the open seas, but it's just not terribly interesting. The book does pick up, however, with an exciting kraken attack and a revenge-fueled finale. *** out of ****

THE LOVELY BONES (Alice Sebold) - February 14/10

Hmm. This one was a little frustrating. I was definitely enjoying it for the first half, although Sebold's reliance on overly flowery prose is a little irritating. But once the story zips ahead through time and we're asked to spend more and more time with characters we don't really care about (ie Ruth), my interest seriously began to wane. Maybe it's my own fault for expecting something that Sebold isn't interested in delivering - ie a linear look at a family attempting to cope with the loss of one of their own - but I just found the latter half of the novel seriously anticlimactic and often flat-out boring. **1/2 out of ****

YOUTH IN EXILE (C.D. Payne) - February 11/10

Although I did admittedly enjoy the last 30 pages or so - in which Nick finally consummated his relationship with Sheeni and also became a wart-watch millionaire - Youth in Exile is primarily an extraordinarily tedious experience that just feels like Payne is spinning his wheels. Desperate to keep the Nick Twisp story going, Payne offers up a whole host of entirely underwhelming subplots and forces Nick to spend much of the book disguised as Carlotta (I mean, really). It's so far from entertaining that it forces the reader to wonder what they ever liked about this series in the first place. ** out of ****

A PRAYER FOR THE DYING (Jack Higgins) - February 10/10

This incredibly breezy book - I read it in a day - tells the simple yet engrossing story of an ex IRA soldier who finds himself embroiled in a series of problems within a small town. Aside from Higgins' penchant for including interludes that aren't that interesting - ie a tour through a crematorium - A Prayer for the Dying is an exceptionally entertaining read that certainly makes me curious to check out some of his other books. *** out of ****

SHUTTER ISLAND (Dennis Lehane) - February 7/10

Wow. This is an incredibly entertaining read that boasts a twist ending I seriously did not see coming at all. Lehane offers up an incredibly cinematic story that moves at an impressively brisk clip, and it's worth noting that every time the story starts to slow down a bit, Lehane throws in another electrifying interlude or an out-of-left-field twist that instantly recaptures one's interest. ***1/2 out of ****

YOUTH IN BONDAGE (C.D. Payne) - February 2/10

This rather underwhelming sequel is certainly quite entertaining and amusing in parts, yet there's little doubt that the book - which only fleetingly allows Nick to reunite with Sheeni - simply feels as though its spinning its wheels for the majority of its narrative. **1/2 out of ****

DEAR JOHN (Nicholas Sparks) - January 30/10

I was really digging this for about the first half, as Sparks does a superb job of setting up the two central characters' admittedly idealized romance. Both characters are vividly portrayed and I really found myself caught up in the slow-build of their relationship (although I was confused by Savannah's refusal to sleep with John again after that first night). It's only as the two separate after John goes to war, with those sections long and descriptive and comparatively boring, that my interest started to wane, and the completely unsatisfactory resolution was nothing short of ridiculous. I mean, really... Savannah breaks up with John and marries Tim? WTF. Sparks creates a romance with all the realism of a fairy tale and then doesn't afford Savannah and John a happy ending? It just doesn't work. Ugh. Frustrating as hell. **1/2 out of ****

YOUTH IN REVOLT (C.D. Payne) - January 25/10

Though I'm still not sure if this counts as a stand-alone book, Youth in Revolt is an extremely entertaining account of one summer in the life of an almost absurdly verbose teen. Nick Twisp is as original a protagonist as I've encountered in quite some time, and his would-be relationship with Sheeni is certainly quite compelling. Armed with a host of quirky supporting characters - Lefty, Wally, etc - Youth in Revolt is a breezy read that's admittedly at its best in the sequences revolving around Nick and Sheeni's short-lived relationship. ***1/2 out of ****

DARK REUNION (L.J. Smith) - January 22/10

Wow, what an ordeal. This entirely needless chapter is made all-the-more pointless by Elena's absence throughout much of the story. (She's dead, for crying out loud!) Smith instead expects the reader to care about Meredith, Bonnie, and Vickie - even though these characters were hardly developed in the first three books. (Even by the time the book ended I was still a little shaky on who was who.) It's the relationship between Elena and Stefan that kept the first three books afloat, so without Elena around, Dark Reunion simply feels like a colossal waste of time. (The ending was pretty decent, though.) *1/2 out of ****

THE FURY (L.J. Smith) - January 14/10

More of the same, though I'm curious as to how they're going to bring Elena back since she died at the end of the book. Some decent twists here - ie the revelation that Katherine was the one behind everything - but it's just not involving for some reason. **1/2 out of ****

SPIDER (Patrick McGrath) - January 11/10

Ugh. It took me several months to finish this plotless, interminable book. McGrath offers up what's probably an accurate look at the mindset of a crazy person, but fails to include a single element designed to capture and hold the reader's interest (ie there are no intriguing characters, situations, twists, etc). To paraphrase Patton Oswalt, it's well written but who gives a shit? * out of ****

UNDER THE DOME (Stephen King) - January 8/10

This sprawling novel is ultimately far more entertaining than I might've expected, as King does a superb job of introducing something like two dozen characters and subjecting them to a thoroughly horrifying situation. Though there were a few characters I was never quite able to place, King effectively manages to hold the reader's interest pretty much from start to finish (at over 1000 pages, there are admittedly a few stretches that aren't quite as enthralling as one might've hoped). The climax, involving the town's almost total destruction, is riveting and ranks with the most exciting writing I've read in years. And the ending, in which one alien takes pity on the town and removes the dome, is just about as satisfying as I was hoping. (I had feared that the book would end with the dome still on the town and everyone dead.) ***1/2 out of ****

THE STRUGGLE (L.J. Smith) - December 12/09

Well, this series is no Twilight, that's for sure. It's basically entertaining and all, but I think the main problem here is that the connection between Elena and Stefan is simply not as compelling and palpable as the connection between Bella and Edward. Smith, a far weaker writer than Stephenie Meyer, is simply unable to really get inside any of the characters' heads, with the lack of real momentum exacerbating the book's problems. I'll keep reading in the hopes it gets better, though. **1/2 out of ****

THE BOOK THIEF (Markus Zusak) - December 9/09

This incredibly long-winded book admittedly paints an extremely vivid picture of a small German town during WWII, and certainly features a number of compelling characters (especially Leisel and her adoptive father). But Zusak's decision to tell the story from Death's point of view proves distracting and gimmicky, and, in the final analysis, doesn't really add anything positive to the narrative. Likewise, Zusak tends to get bogged down in tangents that test the reader's patience (ie that story that Max wrote for Leisel), which ultimately ensures that the book feels about twice as long as necessary and effectively dulls the impact of the surprisingly downbeat finale. **1/2 out of ****

ACE OF CAKES (Duff and Willie Goldman) - December 1/09

Well, this took a lot longer to read than I thought it would (I thought I'd just breeze through it in an hour or so). This is an almost ridiculously exhaustive (yet oddly superficial) look behind the scenes of Ace of Cakes, and as such, it's basically pretty interesting and undoubtedly quite informative. But Duff's super-positive approach ensures that the book often feels like an advertisement for the series - ie there's nothing negative here. And it would've been nice to get some real nitty-gritty info on the show (ie how much are the cakes?) For fans only. **1/2 out of ****

THE AWAKENING (L.J. Smith) - November 30/09

Well, it's not exactly Twilight. This first installment of The Vampire Diaries is basically entertaining, but it's just not as enthralling as one might've hoped. Hopefully further books will be a little bit more exciting, now that the various characters have been introduced. **1/2 out of ****

IF I STAY (Gayle Forman) - November 24/09

This brisk little book, though basically plotless, held my interest pretty much from start to finish and even got me a little choked up once or twice. And though I found the open conclusion a little frustrating - ie did Mia stay with Adam? did she go to Julliard? etc - If I Stay is a superb debut from a promising writer. ***1/2 out of ****

THE HUMBLING (Philip Roth) - November 23/09

Though it takes about 40 pages (out of 140) to get interesting, The Humbling does become a fairly intriguing portrait of an aging actor's unconventional relationship with a lesbian and the downfall it eventually brings him (culminating in his suicide). Well written and brisk. **1/2 out of ****

TWILIGHT DIRECTOR'S NOTEBOOK (Catherine Hardwicke) - November 19/09

This scrapbook of the making of Twilight is interesting and intimate. I could've used a few more technical details and some peeks into the actors' day-to-day processes, but this is otherwise an intriguing look behind-the-scenes into the movie's production. *** out of ****

HOLLYWOOD MONSTER (Robert Englund) - November 18/09

This incredibly breezy autobiography is not without its flaws - Englund doesn't seem to have anything bad to say about anybody or anything - yet there's little doubt that the book is packed with interesting tidbits. And as interesting as the early stuff is, Hollywood Monster really cooks when Englund talks about his various movies - including his trials and tribulations as Freddy. *** out of ****

CATCHING FIRE (Suzanne Collins) - November 14/09

This disappointing sequel to The Hunger Games ultimately feels like a stepping stone into the final book, with the "gossamer thin" plot (as another review has put it) stretched well past the breaking point as Collins attempts to set up the finale. Throwing Katniss back into The Hunger Games isn't inherently problematic, but matching her up with a series of underdeveloped allies is (ie there's never a point at which the reader cares about any of these people, except for Peeta, of course). The book is ultimately entertaining but far from the enthralling work that its predecessor was. Hopefully the third installment will fare better. *** out of ****

MRS WHIPPY (Cecelia Ahern) - November 7/09

This super-short story - 75 pages - about a put-upon housewife who finally decides to stand up for herself is incredibly entertaining and surprisingly vivid, as Ahern effectively establishes a fully fleshed-out central characters and tells a compelling tale using very few pages. A true winner. (And a reminder that Ahern, the author of the engrossing P.S. I Love You, is a genuinely talented writer whose books I seem to have overlooked. I'll be correcting that mistake shortly.) ***1/2 out of ****

CIRQUE DU FREAK (Darren Shan) - November 6/09

This serviceable teen fantasy book certainly has its moments, but the whole thing never quite adds up to much - with Shan's ongoing attempts at mimicking a teenager's voice exacerbating the book's various problems (ie it's just not convincing and kind of needless). **1/2 out of ****

THE LOST SYMBOL (Dan Brown) - October 30/09

This third Robert Langdon adventure ultimately feels like the longest, as Dan Brown simply goes crazy with the descriptive stuff this time around. It's the expectedly propulsive narrative that keeps us interested, however, as Brown packs the book with a number of exciting sequences - with an incredibly thrilling pursuit through a pitch-black "pod" undoubtedly the highlight of the novel (and probably of Brown's career). And although the build-up to the climax is pretty darn effective - ie the twist that the villain was actually Solomon's son was completely unexpected - the book boasts a final 50 pages that couldn't possibly be more anti-climactic. Brown resorts to preachiness in the final stretch as Langdon essentially discovers his faith, and the inclusion of countless facts and tidbits about various religions is simply not as interesting as Brown clearly believes it to be. Oh, well, the book's still worth a read if only for some of the outlandish plot twists (ie Langdon is submerged in a breathable liquid!) *** out of ****

THE HOST (Stephenie Meyer) - October 22/09

I'm kind of conflicted about this one. On the one hand, I really came to enjoy the book as it progressed and the characters were just so sharply drawn and well developed (and flat-out likeable!) On the other hand, it's undeniably overlong. It took me a long time to get into it, and the whole midsection - set entirely within the caves - just feels needlessly epic length. It's like reading three or four separate books in one. Still, the book really grew on me as it went on. Meyer's penchant for ridiculously happy endings is in full effect here, yet it almost did seem as though she had actually killed off Wanda. I also have to give props to Meyer for eschewing the showdown I kept expecting between the humans and the Seekers; that the story ended on a much more low-key and introspective note was surprising and appreciated. I guess it's really a three star book just 'cause of overlength, but because I liked the characters so much, I'll give it ***1/2 out of ****

BATMAN: CACOPHONY (Kevin Smith) - October 7/09

This enjoyable Batman story benefits from Smith's expectedly witty dialogue and also the love/hate relationship between Batman and the Joker. The book is at its best during their scenes, with their final confrontation undoubtedly the highlight. *** out of ****

THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU (Jonathan Tropper) - October 5/09

Another stellar, truthful effort from Jonathan Tropper, This Is Where I Leave You boasts a typically engaging protagonist as he's forced to re-evaluate his life in the wake of his father's death and his wife's adultery. Though the book does contain several less-than-enthralling moments revolving around the technical aspects of the Jewish wake, there's plenty here that kept me entertained and moved - with the highlight being the central character's ongoing efforts at struggling with his wife and also his rekindled friendship/relationship with childhood crush Penny. The proliferation of astoundingly well-developed periphery characters cements the book's success, although I did find the vague conclusion a little frustrating (did he wind up with Jen or with Penny?) ***1/2 out of ****

TRUST ME (Jeff Abbott) - September 29/09

It feels like forever since I started this one. Jeff Abbott takes a decent premise and squanders it with an overlong narrative that's nothing short of oppressive at times (seriously, this story could've been told so, so much better at half the length). ** out of ****

FIRESTARTER (Stephen King) - September 14/09

It took me months to finish this (the initial copy I got from the library was missing about 40 pages). And unlike most of King's books, this one felt long. With its wafer-thin storyline, King ensures that the book is probably about double the length it needs to be - which he accomplishes by describing the hell out of everything. There's plenty to like, though, as it's just as brutal and violent as one might've hoped (and it also doesn't hurt that King has created a pair of indelible characters in Charlie and Andy). **1/2 out of ****

LOVE AND OTHER IMPOSSIBLE PURSUITS (Ayelet Waldman) - September 5/09

I was eventually pretty surprised by how much I enjoyed this book, since author Ayelet Waldman's decidedly verbose sensibilities are initially a little off-putting. The overly descriptive nature of the book's opening 100 pages make it difficult to really care about Emilia, although as the story progresses, Emilia - and, of course, William - becomes an exceedingly charming (yet thoroughly flawed) figure that one can't help but root for. The expected fake break-up is handled especially well. *** out of ****

THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY (Oscar Wilde) - September 1/09

Oh, the humanity. This exceedingly boring book, which runs 188 pages, has been filled to the brim with long, long passages revolving solely around Wilde's opinions on varying topics. The pervasive atmosphere of windbaggery persists virtually from start to finish, and it's impossible to walk away from the novel without thinking that Wilde adores hearing himself talk. Plotwise, there are a few interesting things - ie Dorian murders the man who painted his portrait - but they're generally lost beneath absurdly descriptive and eye-rollingly talky stretches. A true ordeal. * out of ****

BREAKING DAWN (Stephenie Meyer) - August 24/09

The Twilight saga comes to a close in a fitting, satisfying, yet slightly bloated tale that ensures happy endings are received by all the primary characters. My one complaint with the novel is that it often moves at a pace that's perhaps a little too leisurely, but this is something that's easy to forgive (and anticipate), as Meyer - knowing that this is the last story to feature her characters - shares her reluctance to let Bella and Edward go with the reader. As for the complaints others have had (ie the grisly birth), I had no such problems and I thought the final confrontation between the Cullens and the Volturi was especially well done (particularly with Bella discovering her newfound power to protect those under her purview). The end, in which Bella allows Edward to read her thoughts for the very first time, was just about perfect. I'm sad to have reached the end, but I'm glad I took a chance and lost myself in Bella and Edward's admittedly idealized romance. ***1/2 out of ****

THE STRAIN (Guillermo del Toro & Chuck Hogan) - August 16/09

This first part in a trilogy is certainly an entertaining read from start to finish, but it's impossible to overlook the feeling that - most likely - the entire trilogy could've been condensed into one book. It's consequently not surprising to note that the events in the novel are overdescribed to an almost absurd extent, and there are also plenty of absolutely superfluous sequences and interludes spread throughout (ie everyone watching the eclipse). It's also worth noting that the authors never explain just how the vampire is able to take out an entire plane's worth of victims INSTANTANEOUSLY. (And then he can't take out three vampire killers?? Really?) Still, an entertaining enough effort that will hopefully improve as the series progresses. *** out of ****

THE HUNGER GAMES (Suzanne Collins) - August 9/09

This fantastic first installment of a trilogy moves at an exceedingly brisk pace and features a number of genuinely thrilling action sequences. But it's the characters that ultimately capture and sustain the reader's interest, with the book's heroine certainly ranking right up there with some of the best and most interesting protagonists I've encountered in quite some time. Can't wait for book two... **** out of ****

THERESE RAQUIN (Emile Zola) - August 2/09

Though it boasts a surprisingly contemporary writing style (which could admittedly be a result of the translation) and an unabashedly sinister storyline, Therese Raquin eventually wore me out and lost my interest thanks to its relentlessly repetitive final 100 pages or so. Once the murder is committed and Therese and Laurent start to go crazy, Zola essentially offers up page after page of the exact same thing. There's nothing new or fresh within this portion of the book, as Zola hammers home the point over and over again. It's maddening, really. ** out of ****

JULIE & JULIA (Julie Powell) - July 27/09

Though it did improve towards the end, Julie & Julia is mostly a surprisingly tedious story about one woman's efforts at cooking her way through a Julia Child cookbook. Maybe it's because I'm not a "foodie," but there was exceedingly little within the book that I found compelling. As a result, my eyes glazed over long passages in which she described the process of cooking an elaborate meal. But even the stuff in which Powell talks about her various friends falls flat. There's just a pervading atmosphere of "who cares?" in the book. To be fair, there are a few highlights - her fixation on David Strathairn and the CBS news encounter - but really, this is the book equivalent of one of those documentaries that only the author's immediate family could admire. ** out of ****

THE COMFORT OF STRANGERS (Ian McEwan) - July 20/09

It's becoming increasingly apparent that Ian McEwan is as hit and miss an author as one could envision. The Comfort of Strangers falls under the "miss" category, as McEwan bogs the narrative down with egregiously descriptive passages that cause the reader to glaze over certain passages. This is hardly as problematic as the increasingly ludicrous twists within the storyline; after Colin is punched in the gut by Robert, why would the couple stay there? And why the heck would they return days later?? The violent conclusion doesn't make a lick of sense, and it's ultimately impossible not to wonder just what McEwan was smoking when he wrote this. *1/2 out of ****

PYGMY (Chuck Palahniuk) - July 12/09

Oh, Chuck. Your continued need to experiment and shock the reader has gone too far this time. Pygmy is flat-out unreadable. I made it up to page 21 before I realized that I was literally getting nothing out of the experience. I figured I'd finish it just for completists sake, but my eyes were glazing over whole paragraphs - as the narrative is virtually impossible to follow thanks to Chuck's use of broken English. I mean, it makes sense if you really concentrate and think about each sentence much longer than you ordinarily would, but why would I do this? I read books for the same reason I watch movies and television shows: for entertainment. Grow up, Chuck. No rating.

YOUNG HEARTS CRYING (Richard Yates) - July 11/09

This is a rewarding yet awfully trying book that essentially tracks the adulthood of two characters: semi-insane poet Michael and wealthy yet unfulfilled Lucy. Yates does a superb job of taking both characters and developing them into fully-formed figures. But it's hard to deny that the novel's inherently uneventful sensibilities ensures that long stretches of it can't help but come off as less than enthralling. Still, it's very well written and I'm certainly curious to check out more of Yates' work. **1/2 out of ****

THE WISHBONES (Tom Perrotta) - June 28/09

Tom Perrotta's first book, The Wishbones might just be the most conventional of all his works, yet there's little doubt that the novel is jam-packed with all the attributes one has come to expect from the brilliant author. It's got compelling characters, well-placed bursts of comedy, and a surprisingly relatable vibe. And, it's worth noting, the romcom-type storyline doesn't feature a single fake break-up! ***1/2 out of ****

MY SISTER'S KEEPER (Jodi Picoult) - June 23/09

Though it's often bogged down in superfluous elements and overly descriptive passages - which admittedly does seem to be Picoult's M.O. - My Sister's Keeper is an extremely engrossing novel that moves at a brisk clip and even got me choked up a few times. The ending is... weird, but I guess I don't have that big a problem with it, although it would've been nice if Anna had given the kidney AND survived, but oh well. ***1/2 out of ****

LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (John Ajvide Lindqvist) - June 18/09

The comparison I would make here is the book version of The Shining versus the movie version of The Shining. Both tell essentially the same tale, yet the book version is so much more fleshed out than the movie. Same case here. The film remains a haunting experience while the book definitely feels inspired by the work of Stephen King. There's an epic sensibility that was hardly evident within the film, as the movie focused almost entirely on Eli and Oskar (whose friendship remains the highlight within the book). But novelist Lindqvist offers up a whole host of subplots and subcharacters and generally develops them all to an equal extent. It's sort of an all-encompassing portrait of everyone whose lives are directly and indirectly touched by Eli's arrival. It's quite entertaining, sure, but it's never as engrossing as the movie. (It's also worth noting that the conclusion, featuring Oskar on a train with Eli in a trunk, is written so obliquely that it's easy enough to miss that Eli is in fact in that trunk.) *** out of ****

THE INFORMERS (Bret Easton Ellis) - June 10/09

This collection of inter-connected short stories admittedly gets off to a fairly involving start, yet there reaches a point at which the whole thing just becomes aggressively repetitive. In Bret Easton Ellis' world, everybody is overprivileged, spoiled, addicted to drugs, and just flat-out aimless. It's initially a pretty intriguing peek behind the scenes of a world that I would certainly never see otherwise, but it inevitably becomes impossible to care as Ellis introduces the 10th, 11th, etc character that suffers from the aforementioned attributes. ** out of ****

THE TAKING OF PELHAM ONE TWO THREE (John Godey) - June 4/09

Well written but overlong, The Taking of Pelham One Two Three certainly possesses a good amount of exciting and compelling sequences but it often seems to possess just as many interludes that are overly descriptive and dwell in the minutia of uninteresting things. Still, the characters are awfully vivid and it's impossible not to get caught up in the ongoing efforts of both sides to resolve the increasingly perilous situation. The ending was pretty great, too ("surprise.") *** out of ****

I LOVE YOU, BETH COOPER (Larry Doyle) - May 29/09

This exceedingly brisk little book improves substantially as it progresses, once Doyle drops his overly detail-oriented sensibilities in favor of an irresistibly captivating look at one geek's long (and incredibly eventful) graduation night. Doyle eventually peppers the book with plenty of relatable truths, and transforms it into an unexpectedly authentic look at teenagers. The characters are just so vivid, it becomes increasingly impossible not to embrace their admittedly over-the-top escapades. My only real gripe with the book is that we never really find out what happens with Denis and Beth, as Doyle offers up an awfully vague post-script ("Denis didn't see Beth Cooper again until late August, a week before he had intended to leave for school...") Meaning... What, exactly? Denis decided not to go to Northwestern? He stayed in his small town and abandoned his dream of becoming a doctor to be with Beth? Frustratingly open-ended. But yeah, the book is otherwise right up there with Perrotta's work. ***1/2 out of ****

CRITICAL MASS (Whitley Strieber) - May 26/09

Ah, if only someone else had written this book. Critical Mass features a premise that should've added up to an enthralling reading experience - Las Vegas is blown up by a crazy Muslim who threatens to blow up more cities unless the President performs a sacred Islamic ritual in front of the whole world - but Strieber bogs the narrative down with a number of almost unreasonably pointless digressions. His lackluster writing style ensures that the book possesses a start-and-stop feel that grows increasingly annoying, and although the climax is admittedly quite well done (the Jack Bauer-esque hero must stop a miniature plane with a nuke strapped to it from taking off), Critical Mass is simply too uneven to consistently hold one's attention (ie reading the book began to feel like a chore). ** out of ****